I quit drinking. This is day one for me. Starting over.
I will not drink today. I will take my medication and I will be present for the people who need me and the things that need my attention for the next 24 hours.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Who I am
I don't want to say. But I know.
I am an alcoholic.
A functional one, to be sure, but an alcoholic nevertheless. And I am ashamed. I'm not old. I'm not homeless. I'm not broke.
If you met me on the street, you would not know what I am inside.
My family doesn't have a history of alcoholism, on either side. But here I am. I've thought about twelve-step programs, yes, but I'm an agnostic that leans towards atheism. Accepting a higher power is not an option right now.
I've tried to make rules with myself, I've tried to play games. "This is my last bottle" I say as I buy it. It doesn't work.
I'm ashamed. I wish it wasn't so, but I don't know how to stop.
I am an alcoholic.
A functional one, to be sure, but an alcoholic nevertheless. And I am ashamed. I'm not old. I'm not homeless. I'm not broke.
If you met me on the street, you would not know what I am inside.
My family doesn't have a history of alcoholism, on either side. But here I am. I've thought about twelve-step programs, yes, but I'm an agnostic that leans towards atheism. Accepting a higher power is not an option right now.
I've tried to make rules with myself, I've tried to play games. "This is my last bottle" I say as I buy it. It doesn't work.
I'm ashamed. I wish it wasn't so, but I don't know how to stop.
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